If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?

There are some things I want to change. But if I had to choose then it would be my confidence. I was bullied for 10 years straight. I was mentally and physically abused. Not only by classmates, but also family members. That brought my confidence really to a lower level. I was/am scared to say what I really feel and think. Just because I am scared of what people would say or think. This specifically brought me in the past to some point that I kind of abused myself. I'm not going to say what I did because it's still too heavy for me to say, but what I can say is that it brought me different mental disorders. I talked to different psychologists and I'm still talking to one. I really hope it will get better. I'm sorry that I have to do it right here, but I really feel like I have no one else to talk to. Tips are always welcome by the way :)