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My True Self @MyTrueSelf

Just a guy in search of himself. Trying to not only understand who he is, but to also accept who he is. The search is just one part of the journey. Living with what you find is another part that people often don't think about.

Joined Jan 3, 2023
Thoughts  ·  
I love the fact that people are more in-tune with themselves, more mindful, and that they are on a journey of self discovery, maybe now more than ever before. But, at least from my point of view, it seems like people neglect to take one thing into consideration, and that is actually accepting what they find.

It's one thing to go on a journey of self-discovery, which can be very difficulty in itself, but actually accepting what you find throughout that journey, or at the end of it, can sometimes prove to be the hardest part. This is something that I feel many people don't take into consideration or don't realize, that at some point, they will be faced with some sort of clarity, and that this new piece of information about their identity may just need to be accepted.

I feel like I have been at this point as well, where I got to a place on my journey that I came to some very clear understandings, but, I kept searching for other answers, instead of accepting what was right in front of me.

The reason for this I do not know, maybe it's my sub-conscious not wanting to accept what I found, or maybe it's me being blind to the truth, maybe because it is too hard to consciously deal with.

Has anyone else ever felt this way?
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Not everyday is a good day for me, maybe even most days are not. But, there are good days. There are good days that I make up for the bad days, and manage to motivate myself to push forward and make changes that will last and expand even throughout those days that are not so good.

That is something that motivates me and that helps me through those worse times. The understanding that there will also be better times where I will be able to make a difference.
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I have never actually been able to understand my path. I have always had a goal for how I wanted my life to look and who I wanted to be, but I never found the path to get from where I am, to there.

At times, I would desperately look for the path and try to find my way to achieve my goals. At other times, I would be exhausted and have no motivation, I would wait for the path to find me. And then there were times when I was just open to what ever happens.

Neither have gotten me far. Neither have helped me reach the path to my goals, to what I desire. It is as if nothing I do actually alters where I am. Even when big changes occur, I somehow get back to the same place I have always been in. Far from the path I desire to be on, and farther from the destination.

Thinking about this, letting it sink in and coming to yet another realization that this is how my life is, still is, as it has been for so many years, demotivates me to the point where it is difficult to even think about doing anything to change my life.

The lack of motivation is addicting. It causes me to sink into more and more, making it more difficult to find my way out.

I know that this should not stop me, but it does slow me down. The only thing I can do is to think of constants, and to try and gain motivation from that thought. To understand what thing I want to have in my life, regardless of where I am in it and if things continue to be the same. To fight through the lack of motivation, and from within it. To continue moving forward, even while being pulled back.

What are the things I want in life that I can achieve? Things that I want regardless of what ever may happen later on.

These are the constants that I am defining. These are the things that, even if my life continues the same as it has been until now, or even if it gets worse, I will have those things that bring me joy, happiness, and eventually motivation.

These are the constants that, no matter where I am, I want to have.
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