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Jay Michaelson @Jmm

Trying to find my path in this world of endless opportunities.

Joined Apr 13, 2021
Marketing, development, and project management
Learned web development and marketing at work/home
Thoughts  ·  
Last Active
Sep 6, 2021
I thought to myself what the most important characteristic or quality of a person is, and i guess by instinct my instant answer was honesty, but thinking about it a little bit longer made me realize that maybe that is not the most important thing.

If i had to choose my partner based on a quality, it would not be honesty, not because i don't think its important, it is very important, but because i believe that there is something more valuable in a person to me, something that i would appreciate so much more than honesty.

I don't think i know what this quality would be called, but it would be in the realms of respect and understanding.
Understanding the situation, understanding me, and reacting in a way that will be in the interest of allowing me to be the best i can be.

Honesty is one of the most important qualities i believe one must have, at least in terms of a relationship of some kind with me, but, if for example my partner were to find me overly excited about something that may not be even remotely interesting to her, i would appreciate her understanding of the situation and of me more than her honesty about what ever it is i am excited about.
Specifically, rather than choosing to not be excited or to show no interest in what it is that excites me (which of course she does not need to have, everyone is interested in their own interests, they cannot be forced on anyone), i would hope she would understand that this is an opportunity to share a moment in which, regardless of what the cause is, i found happiness and excitement.
Instead of her honesty on the cause, i would prefer her enthusiasm and encouragement in my happiness of the moment.
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Sep 24, 2021
Sometimes, as i get as close as can be to the thing i feel i want most in life, a part of me just pulls away from it.

I know that its a big leap, a huge one even, into something that is just unknown, something that is unfamiliar and risky, but i feel it may be worth it, but the leap is so big, the other side is so far a way that i don't even attempt the jump out of fear of not making it, of drowning, of not being able to get back to where i jumped from if i don't make it to the other side.

In this case, maybe smaller steps and smaller jumps are better, landing on pebbles along the way until i reach the end.
Some pebbles may not hold me, some may, but in the end i will still be heading in the right direction.
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The Last Lecture by Jeffrey Zaslow and Randy Pausch.

If you are looking for positive points of view and perspectives on life, or just want to read a very uplifting and positive book, this is the one.

Initially, the story may seem like a sad one since it's written by a dying professor, so of course, there are some bittersweet moments while reading it.
But once you start, you will very quickly understand that this is not at all a sad story about death, rather, it's about life and how to live it to the fullest. It's a motivating story about how we can all choose to look at the better parts of every situation life presents us with, to see the positive in all the challenges and difficulties throughout life.

This is how Randy has chosen to live his life, and in this book, he demonstrates how it is possible to look at the positive sides of even the worst times in life.

This really is one of the better books I have read, it helped fill me up with positivity, motivation, and the inspiration I needed for getting through tough times in my life.
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Write down your thoughts, and get a dry erase board (whiteboard).

I like writing. Not stories or anything that people will ever read, actually, not even I read what I write.
Writing things down, like my thoughts, helps me think better. It helps slow my thoughts down rather than allowing them to race.

This is a technique I use a lot for my work when I have a difficult puzzle to solve, or when I just need to make a thought process clearer and understand things better.
Without writing, my mind will just race through the thoughts, and as much as I try to slow it down, I cannot.
Writing helps me do this, it forces me to slow down because I cannot write as fast as I think, which means that my thought process will be much slower.

This allows me to actually understand each thought that crosses my mind, each solution I think of for solving an issue is actually thought of and contemplated, rather than just moving on to the next thing.

This has helped me countless times in work and in my personal life, and even though I do love writing and it really helps, I do not like the waste of paper. I do not like the environmental impact it has.
Especially since I almost never go back and read what I write down. So the moment it goes on the paper, it's gone, it will end up in the garbage, and that is just a waste.

The reason I don't read it is that I am just doing it for the effect it has on my thinking process, slowing me down and allowing me to better think and process things. Other than that, it doesn't matter to me if the text disappears after I write it.

This is where the dry erase board comes in.
I can't say that I know how ecologically friendly dry erase boards are, because I do not, but I do know that I am not ok with deforestation and the amount of paper that is wasted and as a result, the number of trees that are killed for nothing.
So, instead of writing on paper, I decided to write on a dry erase board.
This has been a game-changer for me as it's also much easier for me to write on a dry erase board, I can also write whatever I want and be sure that no one will ever read it (if that was something that I worried about).

I have a few small boards and a bigger board for the more intense thoughts I need to write down. When I fill up the board, I just erase it and continue on with the thoughts. Very simple.
All the benefits of writing, just without the paper and without the waste.

So my recommendation is to start writing down your thoughts as you are thinking them, you will be surprised how much this can help you think more clearly. And, to use a dry erase board, even a small one will do (but get a small marker!).
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If you find creating a schedule for meditating difficult and you tell yourself that you will do it at the end of the day, only to decide in the end that you are too tired to do it and will do it tomorrow, just do a short session in the morning or the middle of the day, don't wait.
A short session throughout the day is better than no session at all.

It's very easy to give in to the temptation of not doing it, even though it's a pretty simple task of just sitting for a few minutes, we can still find every excuse to not do it, and sometimes we just don't feel like doing it, even though we really want to and need it.

Instead, the moment you remember or think about it, go do it, even if it's just a few minutes. Of course, if it's possible, if not then try to do it as soon as you can rather than saying that you will do it later or before bed, because, you know you will probably have a reason not to do it.

Even short sessions can be great, and they can encourage us to go for longer next time, or to find more time for it throughout the day, leading to multiple sessions, and just more time meditating.
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Take a moment to just breathe.

Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and let it all out slowly.
Focus on your breath, follow it in and out.

Do this for a few minutes and really try to focus on nothing but the breath.
This can be hard, but the more you do it, the better you get at clearing your mind.

This can help calm your mind and body and help you stay in the present moment, rather than letting your mind wander off to places you may not want it to wander to.
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How small we are in this universe.
Its something that i already thought about a few times, but it sort of re-entered my brain again today.

We are tiny, almost nothing to the universe, but we take everything so seriously as if every tiny mistake is going to end it all.

Thinking about it just puts things into perspective.
It makes the small and insignificant annoyances of daily life seem tiny and unimportant, as they usually really are. We just inflate everything to be way bigger than they actually are.
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“This is the real secret of life—to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now. And instead of calling it work, realize it is play.”
-Alan Watts
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When starting meditation, don't try to have a strict meditation session length, it can lead to burn-out, causing you to give up the practice.

Meditation may seem simple to some, after all, you are just sitting down and not moving. But, its actually much more difficult than it seems, both mentally and physically.

Sitting down for long periods of time can be very difficult for some, even sitting down for 10 minutes without moving.
Besides the physical part, it can be very difficult to sit with yourself in silence while tying to stay clear in mind and to be focused.

A big reason why many people give meditation a try but quickly give it up is because they have the wrong understanding about what to actually expect and what to do.
They see and hear that people sit for a long time, so they also try sitting for a long time.
They know that meditation means that your mind is clear of thoughts, so they expect their minds to be clear of thoughts.
These are wrong assumptions and expectations that can easily lead to burn-out and not wanting to continue the practice.

The main point being made here is that meditation, just like other exercises, takes time to master and get good at.
Just like you don't go to the gym and, without prior training, except to lift 100kg, the same logic should be applied to meditation.
To lift 100kg you have to train for it, you have to go through the weights, starting at a lower weight until you are strong enough to lift the heavier weights.

The same applies to meditation. Start small and short.
Start with short, 5 minute sessions. Don't expect to have no thoughts, don't expect miracles, just go in to the practice with an open mind, and understand that it just takes time.

Slowly, once you get used to sitting still, being quiet, and to the physical aspect of it, you can add more time to each session.

Another great way to start meditating is to use guided meditations. There are many free apps available for this.
This is great for beginners since sitting quietly can be difficult as it can be pretty boring for people who are not used to it. It can also be overwhelming since part of the expectation people have of meditation is to stop the thoughts, but as we all know, when you are told not to think of something, that is precisely what you will be thinking of.
When people start meditation, its difficult for them to clear their minds or focus on their breath or sounds.
Guided meditation helps with this as it guides you through the meditation, giving you tasks to do, such as counting your breaths, scanning your body, noticing certain things that are going on around you such as sounds, and things about your body such as tense muscles.

So, don't go in with too many expectations, start small, and work your way up.
It will be worth it.
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