Their intentions. Even though people may end up doing things that I find wrong, bad, mean, insulting, inappropriate, I always find it important to listen to the persons intentions, it can change the whole picture.
This is for sure not a free pass to do anything and all will be forgiven, but, at the minimum, I think its important to understand what the intention of a person is, and where they are coming from - not location wise, but what have they been through.
If someone comes up to me angry and upset and lets it out on me, most likely It wasn't me who caused that anger, so instead of retaliating and getting angry at them also, I find it much more helpful to try and understand where this person is coming from, what happened to the person and what is causing them so much anger.
Just because someone is angry at you, doesn't mean they are angry with you, they could just be letting it out and you happened to be in that place at that time.
Just because someone did something wrong in your eyes doesn't mean that that was their intention, you don't know what that person has been through..
One is for them to be able to actually understand me, and I them.
I have been in relationships in the past where I constantly heard "I don't understand you..".
This was said to me because of my thoughts, my actions, decisions, and generally the words I chose to say and the way I chose to say them.
Talking with other people though was much easier, they understood me, and even if they didn't agree with me, they were still able to understand my point and where I was coming from.
Another value is the ability to understand when mistakes were made and to admit when we are wrong.
Rather than just arguing and being stubborn about mistakes that were made, I appreciate the ability that people have to admit when they are wrong.
I know this isn't always easy, its not easy for me either, but even working trying to improve that is important to me.
Which brings me to the next value - improvement.
I absolutely love it when people try to improve themselves. Not because I necessarily think they need to change or improve themselves, but because it shows a certain humility about a person who is willing and able to accept that some things may need to be improved about themselves.
Its when people don't try to change things or improve things that, at least I believe, life gets a little bit stale.
Their personality. If they are kind and cheerful they will show it without even realizing. They enjoy seeing others happy and bringing their mood up no matter who it is.
People with poor attitudes tend to share common qualities. Enjoy making people angry for no reason. Attacking people with unwarranted comments. Saying they want to beat you up randomly. Lying, blaming people.(You know who you are)
I genuinely believe your mood reflects who you are. If your around successful people all the time your chances of becoming successful are increased. And the same goes for happiness and personality.
If, when I speak to someone, they choose to react, or to listen.
Most of us just react when we are spoken to, it's become difficult to turn off the auto-react mode in our minds and to just listen to what the other person is saying and meaning.
When I speak to someone and can see and feel that they are actually listening, and not just coming up with responses and reactions to what am I saying, is what I really value in people.
Communication is important, but sometimes it requires us to not say a word, but to just listen.
I value their honesty, heart, trust, and communication at a real and deep level.
