I am the complete opposite of confrontational.
Most of the time i will, maybe even on a sub-conscious level, avoid confrontations by any means.
This affects my personal life as well as my profesional life, its something that i have been working on, but its very difficult to overcome.
A big problem with this is that because i try to avoid the confrontation so much, i get very stressed and i start over thinking it, and i create this whole perspective in my head that things are much worse than they actually are or will be.
This makes me come to the confrontation as if I'm coming to a battle, which it should not be.
I honestly just hope that children will even have an interest in past times, which is something that i don't see much of these days.
I guess it would depend on how different life will be by then though. Even now life is much different from what it was when i was a kid, and its only been about 20 years.
The fact that we used to play outside rather than playing video games or being on social media is already strange to kids today, and who knows how the world will be in 50 or 60 years.
Maybe they will ask about the days before social media and smartphones?
As far as I know, people don't and cant really teach you about the difficult choices in life, what ever they may be.
They may come with pain, sadness, regret, and a whole list of negative feelings, and its not something someone can really prepare us for. It something we have to face and get through when the time comes, as difficult as it may be.
Working on my personal project has become a habit in the past few years. Although I did try to make it a habit in the past, and to some extent I did, it was a temporary habit, it wasn't one that lasted.
I would work on the project for a few months, and then stop for an equal amount of time, or for even over a year.
But, for the past 2 years or so, I have been working pretty constantly on this project, there may be a few days I miss here and there, but for the most part, I work on it on a daily basis.
If I would have been able to make this a habit in the past, I can only wonder where the project would be right now.
My thoughts and goals have changed throughout the years for this project, so I cant really assume that I would even be on this same path, because my vision for this project was very different in the past.
But I do wonder how far a long what ever path I would have been on I would be right now, and where it would have led me.
I'm just happy I was able to eventually make this a habit.
I think the world would end.
But maybe not. Since I don't like confrontations, I probably wouldn't confront any of the other "me"s if something was wrong.
But maybe it would since I usually hold everything in until there is no more room and I explode with frustration and anger.
Though, maybe it wont since we (hopefully) would be more understanding towards each other, and know when to back off, so maybe we wouldn't get very frustrated and angry.
But it probably will since I don't have the skills to maintain a world.
But, I could learn..
When i got my wisdom tooth taken out.
The process itself was painless, though it was extremely unpleasant. The tooth was very close to the nerve, and it didn't grow upward, it grew inwards towards the tooth next to it (breaking it actually). So to get it out, they had to dig into my jaw and drill it out.
It didn't hurt since my face was numb, but i did feel the process, i felt the digging, the shaking to get the tooth out, and the pressure when they pulled out the pieces of tooth after breaking it into pieces.
When the numbness faded away is when the worst pain i ever felt started.
I wasn't allowed to eat or drink for a few hours as i was told, and even later when i took pain medication, the pain was still there. Nothing helped.
All i could do was sit there in exaggerated pain, the only thing i was able to do was to get frustrated and angry about how painful it was and how there was nothing i could do about it.
I think the helplessness i felt was equally as bad as the pain itself.
I spent the whole day working on something that I thought I didn't have the skills for yet and that I would have to spend the whole week learning how to do, or ask someone else to do it.
At the end of the day I basically did it, and almost finished the main points of the project, only to find out that there may be a big issue that could mean most of what I did the whole day was pointless in terms of the project.
Then, at the very last minute, I thought of a completely different way to approach this whole project, which still means that most of what I did today may be a waste in terms of the project and work itself, but at least I learned that I can actually do the work, and at least I thought of another strategy to complete the goal.
When people joke with me, or laugh with me, I pretty often am not capable of taking it as it is, instead, I take it as if they are laughing at me.
Its hard to explain when or why this happens, it just happens suddenly.
Its actually something that I have been feeling for the past few days.
The awkward silence when (at least I think) a girl wanted me to ask her for her number, but instead I just sat there, realizing only after what just happened and how awkward it was.
Not a first, probably not a last either.
I started a very small online business.
Its been keeping me very busy, i am not making any money at the moment, I'm actually losing money (good thing i still have my job), but its a project that i was looking forward to launching for a very long time.
So even though I'm not making money and there is a lot of work, its good work that i enjoy, so its pretty exciting.
