Being able to do something meaningful that will bring change to the world, as well as to my own life.
It wouldn't be a desk job or a 9 to 5 job, but something different, more open, one where i will have more freedom.
I like a little bit of both.
I find it difficult to live life only by a schedule, but, I also find it very difficult to live without having some sort of a plan.
I don't mind not knowing what city I will spend the night, but I do want to know that I will have a bed, or someplace to sleep, for example.
Life is more adventurous when we don't try to plan every part of it and just let things unfold as they go along.
But for me I start to feel as if I have lost control or am just not doing ok if I don't maintain a minimal level of planning ahead.
That i was following in the same steps as my family, doing the same exact things i always told myself i would not do.
Work itself is not very stressful, for the most part I know exactly what to do and how to do it, there are no real surprises or stressful things.
What stresses me about work is that its not exactly what I would want to do. I would want to be independent, and it is something that I am working towards.
I am building myself up to be more independent so that I wont have to be employed, but, waking up in the morning, knowing that I am going to go work a full day for someone else company does cause a lot of stress.
I didn't have a normal childhood with friends and family as others did, so I didn't learn from that early age how to socialize and be with other people.
I think it affects me to this day because I have a lot of difficulty socializing. Things that seem simple to others, such as making friends, keeping friends, talking, sharing things, understanding what to say and when, are mysteries to me.
I try, but usually I get things wrong.
While I do still work on this and try to improve, I have accepted it for what it is.
Yes, I believe that everyone is capable of changing themselves and others.
Of course, doing it is not as easy as it is to write it down.
Many times, the changes we bring may only be temporary, especially if they are changes in ourselves.
This is because we are so used to our habits, and just like creating new habits is a very difficult task for many, so is breaking old ones.
As much as we would like to change things about ourselves, it's just not always that simple. Sometimes, an enormous amount of motivation is required for the change to be a permanent one. otherwise, it could end up just being a phase. That is one reason why sometimes a big change will only come after a significant event, it's that event that gives the motivation to make the change permanent.
This may be different for everyone, and finding your own way to making change is key, and it may not be like anyone else's way for causing a change.
Meditation may seem simple to some, after all, you are just sitting down and not moving. But, its actually much more difficult than it seems, both mentally and physically.
Sitting down for long periods of time can be very difficult for some, even sitting down for 10 minutes without moving.
Besides the physical part, it can be very difficult to sit with yourself in silence while tying to stay clear in mind and to be focused.
A big reason why many people give meditation a try but quickly give it up is because they have the wrong understanding about what to actually expect and what to do.
They see and hear that people sit for a long time, so they also try sitting for a long time.
They know that meditation means that your mind is clear of thoughts, so they expect their minds to be clear of thoughts.
These are wrong assumptions and expectations that can easily lead to burn-out and not wanting to continue the practice.
The main point being made here is that meditation, just like other exercises, takes time to master and get good at.
Just like you don't go to the gym and, without prior training, except to lift 100kg, the same logic should be applied to meditation.
To lift 100kg you have to train for it, you have to go through the weights, starting at a lower weight until you are strong enough to lift the heavier weights.
The same applies to meditation. Start small and short.
Start with short, 5 minute sessions. Don't expect to have no thoughts, don't expect miracles, just go in to the practice with an open mind, and understand that it just takes time.
Slowly, once you get used to sitting still, being quiet, and to the physical aspect of it, you can add more time to each session.
Another great way to start meditating is to use guided meditations. There are many free apps available for this.
This is great for beginners since sitting quietly can be difficult as it can be pretty boring for people who are not used to it. It can also be overwhelming since part of the expectation people have of meditation is to stop the thoughts, but as we all know, when you are told not to think of something, that is precisely what you will be thinking of.
When people start meditation, its difficult for them to clear their minds or focus on their breath or sounds.
Guided meditation helps with this as it guides you through the meditation, giving you tasks to do, such as counting your breaths, scanning your body, noticing certain things that are going on around you such as sounds, and things about your body such as tense muscles.
So, don't go in with too many expectations, start small, and work your way up.
It will be worth it.
Getting lost in my travels.
Unexpected things.
Changes.
New experiences.
-Alan Watts
The skill other people have of being social. Of knowing what to say, how to say it, and actually being abe to say it, without it coming across as weird or wrong.
Basically, the people skills others have.
This includes just being able to talk and express themselves, something i have a lot of difficulties doing.
