I think it would be very interesting if everyone would not do to others what they wouldn't want done to them.
It would be interesting to see how society, governments, and everything would be if this were the case.
The ending of my relationship, which ended due to the unfaithfulness of my partner.
It was the worst phase because this was the one and only person i felt that i could truly trust. I never had someone that i felt this way with so when this happened, it was devastating, i felt lost.
I think I usually daydream about certain situations or scenarios.
I create stories based on almost nothing.
I could meet someone, or only even see them, and then create a story in my mind about who they are, how we would connect, have conversations with them, and just make up endless stories from that one small encounter.
Otherwise, I usually think about my relationships, I try to make sense of the things that I think are not right in them. I also think about what I would be doing and where I would be if I wasn't in a relationship, I think about how my life would look.
Mainly, this thought continues in to me leaving it all behind and going on to travel the world. This particular thought takes up most of my "free-thought time", its what I think about most of all.
For my current understanding and appreciation of my family, mainly, my mother, who for way too long didn't receive the love she deserved from me.
It is the thing I am most thankful for and the thing I am most conscience about. Knowing how things were, and how things could have been if I would have just been better, this helps me appreciate life a little bit better, and to treat it more wisely
My deepest fear has to be the fear of regret.
When I am faced with a tough choice, a choice between something that I truly want for my life, and something that I already have but would have to give up for what I truly want, I always feel an enormous sense of fear.
My mind starts racing with thoughts of regret.
I start thinking about what I currently have and that I will have to give it up, but not just that, I think about the fact that I won't have it anymore, that I won't be able to do the things I do now, I imaging all of the things that I will not have anymore. I question myself about what I will be missing from life, who will be hurt by this choice, and most importantly, what if I can't get back what I give up afterward? What if later down the line, in the future, I decide that I want to go back to what I had and it will no longer be available, what will I do then? That is the point of regret, and that is the feeling I fear most.
To imagine how people would feel who are impacted by my choice creates a traumatic fear in me that I just can seem to get past. I imagine their pain and the fact that they feel it and that I caused it. The moment these thoughts pop into my mind is the moment the fear takes over my decision-making.
When I am faced with situations with choices like this, I am filled with fear. I am filled with an uncountable number of questions all sourced from regret, all based on the question "what if?".
This has evolved from just fearing regret into fearing that situation where I fear regret. I fear fearing regret.
When I feel pressure and general uncertainty about life.
It happens quite often honestly, and these two reasons usually go hand in hand with me. My uncertainty about life causes me a lot of pressure, and this pressure I feel, and the uncertainty, also come from external sources, such as family.
There is a general notion that one must know what they are doing with their life, that they should have a big picture, a goal, but even more than that, a plan, one that is laid out in front of them.
I am not like this, but a lot of people in my life are, and unfortunately their will for this kind of life many times puts me in a situation where I start to question myself about these things as well. What am I doing with my life? Where am I going? And for what reasons?
The moment I start asking myself these questions I start feeling an overwhelming sense of pressure, and this makes me want to escape from it. It makes me feel the need to get away from it.
People consider this running away. I disagree.
What I am doing is very simple, I am understanding things in my own way, in the way that best suits me, not others.
For others, talking and sharing with others helps understanding things, it helps them be calmer and to release a little bit of the pressure. For me, this does not work.
I found what works for me, and that is being alone. It could be for a few hours or a few days. However long, when I'm alone I feel a great sense of freedom, I feel relieved from the stress of life. This is especially true when I go into nature.
Just walking around in nature releases me from all of the negative thoughts and the stress I face, instead of these negative and consuming feelings, I am actually able to understand myself and what I am feeling, I am able to put the stress aside and think only about the issue.
This is my greatest cure for stress and situations in life where I just don't have an answer for what's next, or when I just don't feel myself.
I believe in more than just second chances.
Every person is fighting their own battle, everyone was raised differently, and everyone will make a mistake at some point, especially with other people in their life, i believe this is unavoidable. But it is up to us to allow these people and ourselves to learn from those mistakes and to grow from them, if we don't give someone another chance, we are limiting how much they, and we, can learn and grow from those mistakes.
If someone doesn't take that new chance you offer them and learn from it, then that is on them, not you, you offered them the chance to learn and grow.
I never rule someone or something out, at least i try not to.
If someone does something that hurts the trust between us, they always have a chance to gain my trust again, but i will know to be more cautious with them in the future.
Trust for me is a difficult thing, but i believe that i am also a very forgiving person, so while i may eventually trust a person again, that trust may not be the same as it used to be. It may be a weaker trust, and it may be a different kind of trust, a more selective trust.
Of course, each case and situation is its own, each person is different, so the amount of trust i put in each person will be different, the amount of trust i will put back in people in the second, third and so on chance will be different based on that person and case.
I do think that in the end, if someone continues to do things that eventually hurt me, any additional chances i will give will be much smaller than the others. Meaning, i won't be mad, i won't hold a grudge, i will be ok with that person, nothing more. So the extra chance would be a chance to still be ok with me, but it won't be a chance to be what we were before.
Its great to give more chances and i think people deserve more than one chance, but at some point you have to understand and accept the reality of things, and that maybe what you had until now was not right for you, and that the next chance does exist, but is just different from the past ones.
There are different things in life that get me excited.
When there is a big trip, or adventure as i would call it, coming up, or traveling, those things get me excited, i guess for the change that comes with them.
I think though that if there is no change, it may be less exciting to me, since change is something that i think i need more in my life.
So i guess another thing that is exciting is change, though, it is also one of the things i fear the most.
Another thing is success, personal success, when i accomplish something that i am working on, could be work related, could be even getting rid of things, this gives me a sense of joy and pleasure, and motivates me to keep going and to do more, which in return excites me.
Their intentions. Even though people may end up doing things that I find wrong, bad, mean, insulting, inappropriate, I always find it important to listen to the persons intentions, it can change the whole picture.
This is for sure not a free pass to do anything and all will be forgiven, but, at the minimum, I think its important to understand what the intention of a person is, and where they are coming from - not location wise, but what have they been through.
If someone comes up to me angry and upset and lets it out on me, most likely It wasn't me who caused that anger, so instead of retaliating and getting angry at them also, I find it much more helpful to try and understand where this person is coming from, what happened to the person and what is causing them so much anger.
Just because someone is angry at you, doesn't mean they are angry with you, they could just be letting it out and you happened to be in that place at that time.
Just because someone did something wrong in your eyes doesn't mean that that was their intention, you don't know what that person has been through..
