I think i haven't been enabling myself to do them, and i feel its due to fear of losing what i currently have.
If i leave and do the things i want to do it will involve leaving behind most of what i currently have, and when i think about all the things i want to do, it feels worth it, but when i think about what i actually have and about leaving it, i instantly turn around and say to myself that it just may not be worth losing it all..
On one hand when i think about all the things i want to do, i feel i need to leave, but on the other hand when i get close to leaving i think about all i do have and want to stay.
I feel a fear of possible regret, that if i do leave to do the things i can only dream about now, and eventually find out that they aren't what i thought they would be for me, i would have left everything i do care about behind, but i also feel that i cannot continue with what i have now while always feel like i want and need to leave.
There is a lot of back and forth, fear, and a serious lack of courage.
I am not always able to motivate myself into doing them.
There are times when I do feel motivated, but these of course are usually times when I am not in a situation to do them.
At other times, I just find it difficult to get myself motivated enough to start.
But, when I do manage to be motivated and start the work, I try and usually do get as much done as I possibly can, just to take advantage of the current motivation I feel.
